Have you lost the sense of being alive – of being in charge of your life?
Drowning in expectations, functioning on autopilot just to meet demands?
Between 42 and 52, many people reach their first major life peak: a stable career, a partnership or family, growing children, maybe a home.
And then the quiet question appears: ‘Is this all’?
Is this the life you once imagined – or are you maintaining the status quo to appear successful while feeling disconnected inside?
The loss of autonomy creeps in slowly.
Notice the first signs: withdrawing from social activities, being glued to your computer, feeling sudden anger, frustration or sadness, sensing you’ve missed something important. Maybe you’ve drifted away from friends and family.
To regain clarity, help your brain shift from constant fight/flight into the parasympathetic state.
How to begin
1. The 3-3-3 Rule – an instant grounding tool
A simple way to calm your nervous system and restore emotional regulation:
Look for 3 things you can see.
Listen for 3 sounds you can hear.
Move 3 parts of your body.
Repeat until your mind slows down and your breath softens.
2. Ask yourself the questions you’ve avoided
Write down your answers.
Where am I – personally and professionally?
What feels wrong or out of alignment?
Who could support me?
Which decisions are mine to make?
Can I say no? Where are my boundaries?
3. Create a vision – change needs direction
Where do you want to be in five years?
4. Write a letter to a trusted friend from your future self – no need to send it
Describe a day in your new life.
Which decisions did you make?
How do you feel living them?
5. Begin a daily journaling habit.
Write your thoughts, worries, disappointments – anything.
This clears emotional fog and restores reasoning.
Finally, through all stages of life – demanding careers, busy families, constant responsibilities – remember to pause, turn inward, and ask yourself:
Whose life am I living?
